Everybody Leaves

A lot has happened in the past 6 months or so. I have seen myself grow as a person and mature into an adult. I used to think that I knew better, that I was an adult. I've reached that stage in life, one of the first stages of change, where everything is not the same anymore. Those who are closest to me have moved on in their lives. They all left. I feel like I've been left alone, and that I missed my chance to move on with them.

I've learned to be independent. I used to have a lot of shoulders to lean on and now not so many. There are some things that I can't keep suppressed in me, but i can't share with anyone which drives me crazy. I thought I was over the whole over thinking everything and the endless sleepless nights where my mind won't take a break from rehearsing the past.

It's true when they say that the past follows you everywhere, no matter how far you try to run away from it, it will catch up to you. I made some mistakes in the past, things that I can't take back, things that I regret. I thought that I had made my peace with it but it seems as if I didn't.

I want to start over, from the beginning. I wan't to leave this place, go live in my own utopian town, have my own rules, my own society, and no judgments.

I've considered leaving, and I think that I will. Maybe I'll find what I'm looking for if I do. I need to get away from here, it's too crowded and suffocating. I really just need to get away on my own and clear my head.